Wardrobe for the Beach anti-Bum

(Before I say anything else, can I just tell you how desperately I heart Jose Gonzalez – yes, i know i am missing the very important accents over his name but i don’t know how to do it)

I am taking my own little real voyage this Friday… to Florida!  It’s an annual “Family Reunion” trip on my mothers side and the beach karaoke bars will be packed full of cousins, aunts, uncles, 2nd cousins, 3rd cousins, friends of the family that pretty much are family now.   I’m sure I won’t even know half of them.  And hopefully none of my unfamiliar cousins try to hit on me.  Even more so – I hope they don’t continue to hit on me after I inform them I’m their cousin (Yikes!).

Regardless of your spring vacation plans, the warmth comes upon us quickly, and with that – swimsuit season.  Oh Yay, right? But don’t despair!  There are some lovely fabrics and styles out there to hide behind**.  And so this post is all about…  The Cover-up.

**I do tend to play it quite safe in my selections as the words I live by in anything swim-related are “classy.modest.slimming”.  But I do admire some fun prints and bright colors so please share your favorite things to wear to the pool or beach. Truly- I’d like to be challenged in my solids and simplicities (but not in my modesty thank you).

We are apparently all about the romper these days, and I find this light linen-dressed-in-denim piece a natural fit for the beach un-bum (important note: do make sure that your rompers are quite loose-fitting as anything snug will give your lumps – however few and small- a big bear hug and you’ll be throwing half your vacation pictures in the fire after it’s all done.  Remember those over-alls you wore in your awkward-body stage? uh-huh… same idea) . $49.50

Anthropologie throws their infamous hand-crafted girlyness into the mix.  This is the one you wear for romantic evening walks on the beach, or for a visit to the beach-front shops. $58

Kenneth Cole never fails to make me swoon.  This classy and breezy piece works for lounging in the sand and strolling along the boardwalk (and flirting with the lifeguards)….  Just make sure to complement your colors  carefully and flatteringly.  See-through white over certain bold colors and embellishments does not a slimming effect make. $54

You can’t keep me away from the black.  But a little subtle pattern pleases me quite well.  Find this one at Kohls $19.20

As you can probably tell, I’m (overly) careful about busier prints on any lady – like myself-  who is not widely and obviously classified as “skinny”** as the beach is usually the spot us gals are both most eager and most challenged to be-or at least appear to be- slender.  But it can be done and this Liberty of London jumper (found at Target) does it suberbly. $24.99

** to beat the point to death -  i don’t mean your mamas or best friend’s “but you’re so skinny”… i mean skinny skinny… by all worldly objective -if unfair- standards.

Another good Target option (that would sadly look horrible on me)...The Maxi dress cover-up -  for those tall ladies with the coveted legs! $19.99

OR you can be like me and kill them two birds good by purchasing a sleepshirt (or a mens shirt even).  Save precious vaca time by walking right out of bed and straight to the beach.  Just don’t forget to put your bathing suit on underneath! $14.99 although i got mine on a clearance rack at Target for $3.49

And last note…rather COMMAND-  MAKE SURE TO WEAR YOUR SUNSCREEN, HATS etc.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ’cause leathery skin and melanoma can’t be completely covered up by anything.  And they’re gross.